Work is weird. I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly, yesterday, one of our therapists seriously went on a rant. She was angry with the adolescent group after leading a group. She apparently said she would do something at the beginning of the group and then, at the end, she didn't follow through. So, one of our more volatile and mentally ill, but very intelligent youths called her on it. She started shouting. She had promised some sort of prize for the winner in each of the small groups. She had a bunch of junk from the dollar store. ANyway, I was standing in the hallway on the other side of the building near her desk (which she recently moved from the communal office to the end of the hallway, because she didn't like people talking around her. Also, she did this over a weekend instead of reiterating that she has difficulty concentrating with all the noise in the office).
Anyway, as I'm standing in the hallway, she storms back with a glass candy jar filled with candy in her hands and with all of her might throws the jar at the back wall. Luckily... she's old and it didn't quite make it to the back wall and landed on her coat and didn't break, but candy did fly out.
THEN, she went back into the cafeteria where the offending youth was sort of venting loudly. She threw some of the prizes down and declared, "Here! If it's such a big deal just take it all! I'm going to go throw the rest in the group room and let the others fight over these too!" At which point, she did just that. She tore open the plastic bag and dumped the contents onto the floor and shouted, "Here! I hope you're happy! Take it all! Just take everything!" And, she stormed out.
I know my mouth was agape and was absolutely speechless. I had gone to the other side, because I'd heard shouting from the kids. Anyway, the therapist looked like she was going to have a stroke.
AND, she was back to work today. I definitely feel that she should have taken today off. and, if she didn't take it off on her own volition, she should have been suspended. Her behavior was completely unacceptable and quite honestly dangerous. She could have had glass ALL over. We only have about 22 kids who cut themselves at every chance they can. AND, she got the kids so riled up that they quite nearly almost ganged up on her at which point we would have had to intervene and could possibly have been injured too. You can't have 40 kids against 6 staff. It just doesn't work.
I'm still in shock I think.

Today, I realized i got a raise; if you can call it that. It was 2% when I figured it out. I'm really not sure this even covers the cost of my health care. I have to get my new packet out tomorrow and see what the increase is. I guess it's better than nothing, but still... it is upsetting. I got 28¢. I just got an evaluation where I was rated excellent. And, I know that our evaluations don't determine our raises (which is stupid), but I wish it did. But, then I have to remind myself that they'd be much harder on the evaluations if it meant more money. I'm going to try not to think about it too much. I'm just going to say that it's an extra $582 a year. That makes it much more palatable.

Another thing today... I was teaching my second group of students. I only had four students during this time AND they are four students that I really enjoy AND they all had their own homework today from their schools. I LIVE for sessions like this. But, about 10 minutes in, my boss came in. She asked if somebody could watch my kids for a few minutes, because she needed me to copy a chart. Well, there are 2 free staff for a few minutes, but she decides for me to just send my kids to their regular group and call it a wash and to copy a chart.
I'm not sure why one of the free staff members couldn't have copied the chart. IT's literally running copies on the copy machine and punching some holes in the top. Seriously... I don't know WHY i just got paid to NOT do my job and to make copies instead. It really had me scratching my head in wonder.

In other news, I picked up an adult tutoring client. She is the mother of one of my current clients and the wife of one of my coworkers (and the sister of another). She recently started graduate school and is having some anxiety about writing papers. She is pretty good with the process, but is worried about doing APA citations. She said the last paper she had to write in college utilized footnotes. So, I said I could help her. I would have offered to just help her proofread her paper and to offer some constructive criticism, but she apparently just wanted me to tutor her. Whatever! I'll talk it. After all, that's always been my strong suit. writing papers... that is. Not taking money.

I posted a tutoring ad on craigslist a while ago and some dumb c STOLE my ad nearly word for word. She only changed her licensure area and the areas she could tutor in. I was livid. I sent her a scathing email. I never heard back from the coward. I don't know how some people live with themselves being, so unethical. Seriously HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE YOUR OWN CRAIGSLIST AD?! My GOD! I would have been less angry if it was a scholarly work than this stupid ad. At least then, I would have known that she admired my ideas or thought they were good enough to hold up to grading or that she was having difficulty writing her own paper.

Anyway, I have lots of other things to discuss, but as usual, I'm too lazy and I'm too tired. I'm off to bed.

So, C and I went to see this movie the other day. I highly recommend it. We all agreed that the soundtrack was a little strange. C didn't notice it until the end of the movie, but I noticed partway through that it was a bit strange to have electric sounding music in a movie set so long ago.

Anyway, I decided to find out a bit. C theorized that it was some Russian band. But, apparently, it's some band called Altan Urag which is a Mongolian Folk band....wtf?

Anyway, here is a sample.

I don't even know when my last post was.

I went home to visit my family. IT was mostly good. A couple of low spots, but it all worked out in the end.

My brother turned 21... it was a bit disastrous, but he's okay and that's good. I heard today that he's got himself a job again. That's always a good thing.

I've posted a lot of the pictures in my flickr acct. http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverfaerie/

I have been looking for a job and sent out several resumes this last week. HOpefully, I'll hear back from some of them. I've even been applying for jobs in Cleveland.

IN the meantime I'm STILL waiting for my license to come... I'll be calling them on Monday for sure. And, I'm STILL waiting on my final Praxis results. I'd like to not be a liar when I fill out applications that ask what licensure I hold.

In other news, C and I went to an Indians game the other night with some of his friends. I fell on the stairs and turned my ankle before I ever even made it to my seat.

It's pretty painful. I'm sure it's just a bad sprain. I put ice on it for the first 24 hours, and have been keeping it wrapped and alternating heat and Ice for the last day. It's hard to stay off it though, because I have to work. I can't afford the dr. I know that the xrays wont' turn up a break, so they'll want to know about soft tissue damage and order a ct scan or mri... which I DEFINITELY can't afford.

It's very sore and stiff at this point. The weirdest part is tht i can't really make it point straight forward.... it's sort of pigeon toed right now. hopefully that will go away with the decrease in swelling. I've been taking some naproxen that I had left over from some injury last year. that should help the swelling too.

The good thing about work tonight is that I had the little ones to bed early and was able to elevate my foot and ice it for the last few hours of my shift since i Could see in each room from my seat that meant I didn't have to walk on it.

Then, my desk has a nice little support in the back that is handy for me to prop my foot up on.

I've got a brace on it too.

Hopefully it'll heal up soon.

In the meantime, I'm avoiding stairs.

Well, I'm off to Illinois to visit my family today.

I've been feeling very stressed out lately. I hate it.

Last night was another sleepless night.

This morning I dreamed that my bed was positioned in front of the nurses station at work. And, that the nurse that I despise most was yelling at me, because my sheets weren't clean. But, the whole time I was thinking, "But this is a hotel bed! I can't control this!"

What a crummy dream.

I was waiting to hear back some confirmation about the autism camp, so I could set up my schedule at the hospital. Well, guess what... they didn't call me back yesterday. So, I called up there this morning as soon as the office opened AND.... there was nobody to give me an answer, so I told them I wasn't available. It's sort of crummy. Because, as much as I wasn't really looking forward to it, I sort of was.

Oh, well. I hope everybody has a nice weekend.

I went to bed over four hours ago.

Why have I been laying awake for the last hour?

Besides the terrible heartburn, I woke up gasping for air again. This has been happening a lot lately. I wake up and it's like I'm choking. At first, I thought I was snoring and was waking myself up. But, then I realized it's more than snoring... which I don't think I do.... but I don't know. Maybe some of you can tell me.

Anyway, it's really weird. I've been doing it a couple times per night. Anyway, It's making it nearly impossible to sleep well anymore. I'm constantly tired and have been for what seems about forever. i think think that maybe I do this sleep thing more times than I actually wake up for.

Though, i have also been feeling a little stressed the last few days, that could also have something to do with my insomnia.

This morning I had a really strange dream. I dreamed that I was on a bus of some sort and I was traveling through some little town. the other people on the bus seemed to be tourists. Anyway, we were driving and looking at some little town and it started to rain very hard. We noticed some water covering the roadway and as the bus stopped it was overcome with a large wave of water. The water was streaming through the bus and rising. I was trying to open the window and somebody shouted, "The levee has been breached!" And, then water came coursing over my head, but if I turned toward the back of the bus with the water flow, it didn't go around my face so I was able to breath for a bit. Then I woke up. It was just really weird.

All of my dreams this morning were about travel or moving. Buses figured heavily in them as well. In another dream, I paid for an expensive bus ticket, but then chose to follow the bus with my car, so that I wouldn't get lost.

Also, today, i went fishing with my client and got a little bitty sun burn. I wish my legs would get tan.

Also, one of my jobs called and asked me to work at an Autism day camp this summer. I think I'm goign to do it for the extra money and also to be able to put it on my resume. But, I don't really want to.

Now, I wish I could get some sleep.

I forgot how good the country air smells.

Also, i didn't realize how used to not living on completely flat surfaces I would be.

Also, it's good to be home.

How much do I hate my neighbors dog?

A whole fucking lot.

And, that's the truth.

Not only is it some yappy little terrier, it runs around and tries to bite people. It is literally an ankle biter. The next time it comes near me, I swear to GOD I am going to kick the living shit out of it.

Besides that fact, it whines and howls ALL fucking day. That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't live right on the other side of their wall.

I seriously fucking hate that dog.

I woke up with the worst headache that I've had in a long time. That was 14 hours ago. 1200 mg of Ibuprofen and 2 Aleve later, it's still here.

i'm starting to feel nauseated. I'm hoping it isn't a migraine. It might be. I was having some aura like symptoms earlier, but I figured it was the strange lighting situation at work.

Though, I'm sure that 2 teenage girls pulling me out of my chair and onto a hard floor while trying to remove me from my shoes did not help. They weren't being malicious, but were being little brats and horseplaying. THEN, they got upset when I redirected them from the horseplay. Sometimes, I hate teenage girls.

At any rate, I wish it would go away. I have work to complete tonight.

Last night, C and I went to see Rilo Kiley at HOB in Cleveland. It was a decent show. The opening act was some guy that sucked. The second act was a more entertaining band called The Spinto Band. Rilo Kiley was good and they played all the songs I wanted to hear. Jenny Lewis is a good performer and the drummer was this cute guy that reminded me of Stephen Malkmus a little.

It was a good time.

I wonder why my neighbors can't smoke pot inside their own house instead of in our driveway. Seriously... I mean.... why can't people do this shit inside instead of stinking up my house? Seriously.... wtf.

assholes.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm in a fairly good mood. But, some things that have never bothered me before are suddenly bothering me a lot lately.

It's little things, too.

I don't want to go into detail, but seriously... I don't know what to do about it.

It's just frustrating. It's frustrating, because I don't really have a reason for being annoyed by these things and it's not like I can say or do anything about it. It's a fine line and the things are all really petty. but, for some reason, I just am having a hard time dealing with it.

ugh. I hate feeling like this.

update: I just woke up.. and I'm still annoyed.

Is better than yesterday.

That is a fact.

Yesterday will be marked as my shittiest day at the hospital since I started. Things worked out, but I shouldn't have to worry about any of the crap that went down yesterday.

Well, I'm about to go surround myself with a room full of first graders. I hope it is fun.

Well, this past weekend was pretty great.

I just have to say.

Thursday, I found out that I passed the Praxis series. Then, that night, I got to hang out with my dad.

Friday, I got to do little of nothing. I went to a school talent show, and go tpaid for it. IT was enjoyable and lucrative.

Saturday, I met up with some friends I've made here. It was good. My aunt just asked me if I'd made any friends, and I said... "not really, it's sort of hard." And, then that day I had dinner with 3 girls that I've met. I guess I have been making friends, but they are different than the kinds of friends I had at home. Those are allf riends I've known for most of my life. So, Of course, it's different.

Then, Chris met us at the bar we were at. I was a little drunk by about 7 when we left. I'd been drinking coronas and margaritas since 3PM on the patio. So, C drove me over to his house where we had a fun time. Then we went out for supper and i was sober enough to drive and we picked up his car from the bar. I stayed th enight.

Have I mentioned that I love sleeping next to him?

Anyway, yesterday, we put together the cheap dresser I bought from Ikea back in SEPTEMBER!! And, then had supper at his parents' house. It was a good day.

I did start to wish that I bought the low and wide dresser rather than the chest of drawers. I might go back at some point in the near future an purchase the other one. I have a feeling I could use it. And, I can't really afford any nice dressers, so I'll have to stick with the cheaper ones.

Anyway, it was an A+ weekend.

I went back to work today and that wasn't fun, but that's alright.

My friend from home, Ian, might stop by to visit and stay the night on his way to Vermont to work for the next year.

I hope you all had a nice weekend.


OH, I almost forgot that I subbed at a school on Friday that was JUST amazing.

The end.

Today, the decent trend continues.

I subbed at another local school district than the one I've been subbing in.

let me tell you, the difference is astounding.

The kids were respectful. There were plans, and rosters, and a schedule. The employees were helpful and talkative and nice. The principal was intelligent, kind, and helpful.

overall, I was incredibly impressed. Even the "bad" kid (and I stress the singular here) was good in comparison to what I have been working with.

How refreshing!

If teaching could always be like this, I'd not have waited so long to get back in the game.

And, now I just found out that my dad is stayingin town for the night. he's on his way to Massachusetts and will stopping at the truck world near C's house. So, I'll stop by and see him for a little bit.

Though, I think it's funny that he had to warn me not to be shocked when I see him in bib overalls. I told him I'd buy him a read plaid insulated jacket and then people would think he was a giant lumberjack. Technically, he is a giant. He is 6'8".

Anyway, today is shaping up to be a good day.

I passed all three of my tests with room to spare!

I really wasn't sure about them all. I felt for sure that I had failed the social studies and would have to retake it.

And, I felt that I didn't do very well on the many many many essays of the Principles of Learning and Teaching, but I marked with all points possible on those.


I'm so ecstatic. I literally started crying. The relief is amazing.

I can't even describe how relieved I am.

I can now have a teaching license in both Ohio and Pennsylvania. Look out real job! Here I come!

Well, I'm finally getting more sub calls from other schools. This is good. I'm starting to wonder if I pissed the lady off here in Warren. I've decided to be proactive about it and widened my search today. I called schools that were up to 10 miles away today to let them know I'm alive and on the list.

The list hasn't come out and won't come out until tomorrow though. BUT, a couple of the schools had a list already with me on it. I got called for preeschool today, but couldn't go, because i was at the car dealership having my car looked at. THOUGH, I have to say I was glad to receive that cal. I explained that I would love to come, but my vehicle was being fixed and that I'd love or them to call me again any time. She said she would.

I picked up some days at Champion schools too. I already have 3 days booked which is great. I feel better about that at least. Tomorrow, I might call another school that  Ifound out wasn't as far as I thought.

Anyway, these things make me feel better.

Also, C has been sending me job postings for local areas. So, I'm preparing a resume and cover letters for those. I'm a little nervous that  Idon't have any really recent references for schools. I know that will count against me. But, we'll see. Hopefully, I can make more contacts in other schools that will help me.

I hope you are all well.

Your Score: David Bowie!

Our test has determined that you possess
28% Hellbentness, 7% Sanguinity, and 31% Creeps!
Well done!

The experts here at the Proto-Goth Icon Study Department at Miskatonic University have determined that your Icon Match(tm) is David Bowie!

Commonly known as the "chameleon of pop", David Bowie is constantly predicting trends and adjusting his style and persona, while holding on to his own ideas and creativity. He has had a profound influence on rock music from the 1970s to the present. His "glam rock" phase, from 1969 to 1973, was was responsible for much of the look which flavored both early Goth and New Romantic.

His androgynous appearance, love of melodrama and his use of dark themes all contributed to his having a strong influence on many early goth bands. Both Rozz Williams of Christian Death and Peter Murphy of Bauhaus cited David Bowie as being very influential to their own musical pursuits.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 17% on Hellbentness

You scored higher than 92% on Glamitude

You scored higher than 1% on Sanguinity

You scored higher than 24% on Creeps

somedays I just feel incredibly lazy. :(

I don't like that.

I need a better schedule. or a better job. or one that is more steady. or something.

that is all.